Crazy

It has been my great joy and privilege to walk alongside of Linda Phillips over the last fifteen years as she has crafted her debut YA novel, CRAZY. From reading the first twenty poems in which Linda poured out her anguish as a teen struggling with her own mother's mental illness; through watching Linda add, subtract, and organize these poems into a story arc at the 2009 Chautauqua Highlights Writing Workshop we attended together; through hearing the up's and down's of finding her agent and publisher; to now actually turning the pages and savoring the poems--it's almost as amazing as watching the birth of a child!Now I have the opportunity to share with you some of my favorite poems and parts of this book. I've read some of these phrases several times and they still catch my breath for their simple beauty and sensory imagery; others surprise me as if I've just discovered a new treasure. Without further ado, here are some gems from CRAZY.In the opening poem, the protagonist, Laura, is humiliated in home ec when the class decides that her best color is brown. This poem not only foreshadows much of Laura's conflicts, but also provides the subtext for the cover of the book:So the class decided on brownfor my basic color,as in mudratsrotten bananasswamp waterand dirty anything.I ran out the side door after school,thank heavens home ec was last period,thinking my cheeks were so hot they must be leaving a trail of smoke.I stopped by the canal,swarming with hungry pelicansand screeching gulls,and I wondered,just wondered and wonderedfor I don't know how long,what it would fee likenot to sit and dangle my feet through the slatsand daydream and watchlike I usually dobut instead to climb up on the railing,and let myself just slip off and downand downand down.I decided against it because,of course,I'm not the crazy onein our family. (pp.14-15)Laura's artistic talents are admired throughout her school. She sees the same talent--now unexpressed--in her mother. Laura wonders how her mother "had drifted from/creating brilliant oil paintings/to slapping paint on molded figurines." (p. 23) She asks,"Why don't you take up painting again?"I ask her one day,admiring the pleasing arrangement she created when she was fourteen."Oh, I could never get back to that,"she says, slamming a windowagainst the rising storm. (p.24)Her mother's behavior becomes more erratic, irrational, and bizarre. One day Laura comes home from school and finds:First thing inside the doorI smell turpentine.I nearly trip over a wet canvaspropped against the door frame.I follow a trail of smudgy ragsand scattered paint tubesinto the living roomwhere I find Mama,her back to me,kneelingmutteringcrossing herselfbefore a dripping canvas.She's been painting again!"Hail Mary, Other of God…."A sickening sense of panic beginscrawling up my spine."What's going on, Mama?" I ask…………………..She passes grubby hands absentlythrough her disheveled hair,leaving multicolored streaksand smudges on her face,and she begins crawling on the floor,agitated, frantic,looking for the missing paintor who knows what.……Then it hits me.This is my fault.I caused this.I pushed her over the edge,oh my God,I did this.It was my suggestion,"Take up painting again," I'd said--oh my God…..I clean up the mess as best I can,finally getting Mama to sit down in her rocker.Still paint-splattered,she rocksback and forthhummingmuttering,staring past mewithout recognition.I watch her rockalmost in rhythmwith the ticking wall clockand I take deep breathstrying to match the rhythm,trying to beat downthe panicsurging throughmy body. (pp.65-68)Here is Linda reading one of the next poems, "Nervous Breakdown."As the book progresses, Laura wrestles with her own demon: her fear of being as crazy as her mother. With the encouragement of two new friends--a local gift shop owner who "stands out like an art piece herself/in a shift dress full of helter-skelter bright colors,/dangly earrings,/and the most beautiful long gray hair/I have ever seen" (p. 148); and her crush, Dennis, who pushes Laura to "dig for answers/don't run, dig"(p.272); Laura discovers the work she must do to discover the truth about herself and her family.**********There are two things this review of CRAZY cannot do. First, I can't communicate how proud I am of Linda's accomplishment and how wonderful it is to see this book in print. In a previous blog I compared myself to a mid-wife but that's not quite accurate. Linda is like a sister to me. Since CRAZY is her baby, I guess that makes me a proud aunt.Second, I can't begin to tell you how Linda's poetry touched a place deep inside of me. When I finished reading her final poem in which Laura asks her mother for forgiveness, I was in tears:In her typical way,she brushes it off,says I don't have need for forgivenessbut of course she forgives me,and she understands my confusion and frustrationand she doesn't hold anything against me,and she loves me very much.I'm not sure if she gets it at all,what I am trying to say,but the important thing isI get itand I did whatI needed to doand it feels as goodas anything I have ever done.I wouldn't want to say it,but I think there has been some healingin our familyafter all. (p.314)

I enjoyed Crazy very much. Laura’s voice is authentic, totally believable for a child her age living in the 1960s. A young girl terrified that she’d succumb to her mother’s illness that remained unnamed until she pushed for truth. Linda Vigen Phillips flawlessly paints normal tumultuous teen emotions exploding with fear. For those who may shy away from a novel written in verse, Crazy’s plot is so engaging and so smoothly written you won’t even realize you’re being captivated by poetry. Here is one of my favorite stanzas minus the line breaks: “I take my time walking home with one completed project in the bag and one incomplete project buried deeper than I am able to dig.” But it’s near the end that I find a sentence I have adopted for a personal mantra, “Life is too short to spend on the pursuit of a guarantee.” Expect to get more out of reading Crazy than anticipated. It’s an important read to share.

My copy arrived today and I'm instantly drawn into the story. The style is uniquely detached and personal at the same time. The story leads directly to questions beyond how we deal with mental illness to remind us that those afflicted have families and friends who are directly affected and have no reasonable way to escape. It's billed as young adult literature. Don't let that stop any adult from seeing the value in this work.

I loved this book! Such a vivid description of growing up with a bipolar parent. The author spoke to my book club, and after hearing her I had an even greater appreciation for this story.I'm looking forward to reading her next novel.

Very satisfied

Crazy is a gorgeously crafted novel in verse that explores the meaning of the title with gentleness, empathy and compassion. Set in the 1960's, fifteen-year-old Laura grapples with the fear and shame of her mother's mental illness as she comes of age during her early high school years. The exquisite language and emotional power of this book will draw readers into a topic that is so very important but rarely discussed. Crazy opens the door and encourages understanding and healing for teen readers and adults alike.

The poignant tale of Laura, a teenager in the 1960s whose mother suffers from bipolar disorder, veering from the depths of depression to manic bursts of activity. Told in verse, this novel is characterized by lovely writing, vivid characters, and an utterly realistic portrayal of the protagonist, who deals with all the feelings (anger, shame, fear, and ultimately sympathy and understanding) that having a mentally ill parent evokes in the young (and the not so young). Here's a small sample of the beautiful poetry:she sits and stares,rocks and rocks the devilout of the green rocker,smokes and staresstares and pacespaces and muttersand stares and staresout those blank eyes through that thick cloud of smoke,eyes that shut you out of her secret world,and sometimeswhen you do break through,you know,you just know,that she left part of herself on the other side of sanityand she's trying to rememberwhere she was when she got lost.Highly recommended for readers who love verse novels, portraits of mental illness, and gripping stories well told.